But after finally undertaking the painstaking task of writing all the overwhelming things down (an exercise I highly recommend) and slowly ticking them off one at a time, the fog is starting to clear. For instance (a more shallow example), Zumba used to be my bitch - I owned Zumba. Dude, I could Merengue March to your grandma's place. But following months of dropping all exercise because I was convinced I didn't have time, I recently started again after realising that if I never exercise then the overall timeline of this busy life is likely to get even shorter, and then I really won't have time for anything. Short meaning = exercise is vital for longevity. Cue overwhelming feeling of being embarrassingly unfit and fears of dying of a heart attack before 30 while doing Zumba. Write it down, notice what a ridiculous notion this is when on paper. Accept that I am now Zumba's bitch. Keep at it, the tables will turn again, but for the time being I am content with my place in this relationship.
The second change happened just the other day, when I had my first photoshoot with my fab new model and friend Kristy. Now there's still tweaking to be done with the lighting and camera settings and I need to buy some fresh accessories, but overall there's something I love about these pics. The style is starting to match the image in my mind, there's a softness and romanticism that really appeals to me. I feel inspired, for the first time in a while. Something has clicked again with me and Damsel - I know what I want, I can see it, and I will make it happen.
(BTW can you believe Kristy has never done this before? One might called it amazeballs, if one was crude. These items, and a couple more, will be up for sale on Facebook this Sunday night.)
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